Finding Joy When Life Feels Tight

Franciska Neuhäuser
Dec 14, 2025
4 min read

Updated: Dec 16, 2025

Navigating the Festive Season During a Cost-of-Living Squeeze

Every year, the festive season invites us into a shimmering world of twinkling lights, cheerful music, and endless reminders that this is supposed to be "the happiest time of the year". Yet for many people in Aotearoa right now, this time of year feels less like a celebration and more like a tight knot in the stomach. The cost of groceries has gone up again. Power and fuel costs bite. Rent or mortgage payments take up more and more space in the budget. Social media shows beautifully decorated tables that look suspiciously more expensive than last year. It is no wonder that so many people feel anxious, overwhelmed, or quietly guilty for not being able to give their families what they imagine they should.

If this is you, please know this: there is nothing wrong with you. You are responding normally to a very abnormal amount of pressure. Our minds and bodies are exquisitely sensitive to uncertainty. When stress rises, the whole system shifts into protective mode. Colours can appear harsher. Sounds seem sharper. Thoughts race more quickly and focus on danger. It becomes harder to stay present, and easier to get pulled into frightening "what if" scenarios. Even your inner story about yourself can chance shape, turning "I am doing my best" into "I am letting everyone down".

But the truth is that you are not letting anyone down. You are adapting. You are navigating a cultural moment in which many people feel stretched beyond what they imagined possible. So let us talk about how you can care for yourself, protect your wellbeing, and even rediscover moments of joy in the middle of all this.

Redefine what celebration actually means

Many of us grew up with a particular idea of what Christmas "should" look like. Overflowing tables. Piles of gifts. Perfect family harmony. Those images are powerful, but they are also unrealistic for most households at the moment. It can be helpful to gently question these old expectations and create a version of celebration that fits your current reality.

Celebration does not need to be big. It does not need to be expensive. It does not need to match what you see in movies. Celebration can be a slow morning with no obligations. A walk on the beach. A shared meal of simple foods. A moment of connection with someone you love. When we give ourselves permission to shrink the scale, joy often has more room to breathe.

Reduce the pressure to "perform" Christmas

Many people feel ashamed if they cannot provide a certain type of holiday. This shame is unnecessary and deeply unfair. Instead, try asking yourself, "What matters most to me this your?" Perhaps it is rest. Perhaps it is connection. Perhaps it is protecting your mental health. Perhaps it is simply getting through the season with less tension in your shoulders.

When you honour your actual needs, rather than perform an idea of what Christmas is supposed to look like, the pressure softens. You are allowed to create a holiday that matches your reality, not someone else's fantasy.

Expand your definition of giving

Gifts do not need to cost money. Time, attention, kindness, presence, humour, help, and creativity are extraordinary forms of generosity. Offer to bake something together. Write a short letter. Share a story from your childhood. Create a playlist for someone you care about. These forms of giving can feel far more intimate and meaningful than anything rapped in paper.

Create mindful micro-moments of calm

Your nervous system needs small pauses to reset. Try:

two deep breaths before walking into a busy shop
a moment to feel your feet on the floor before answering a difficult email
gently placing a hand on your chest when your heart is racing
taking a five-minute break outside whenever the house becomes too loud

These practices help your body shift out of threat mode and into a state where joy becomes possible again.

Be honest with the people who matter

You do not need to carry financial worry in silence. Many families are having similar conversations right now. Sharing your situation can reduce pressure, strengthen connection, and prevent misunderstanding. Vulnerability is a form of leadership. It creates room for others to be honest too.

Seek joy in the small, unexpected places

Joy during difficult seasons is rarely loud. It is subtle and tender. It might be a quiet evening with candles. The laughter of someone you love. A moment of gratitude for making it through another year. A shared joke. A warm cup of tea or hot chocolate after a long day. Joy does not compete with hardship. It coexists alongside it, offering light without demanding perfection.

Final Thoughts

If this season is feeling heavy, you are not alone. Your experiences are valid. The stress is real. And yet, there is still room for gentleness. There is still room for meaning. There is still room for joy, even if it arrives in smaller doses than usual. May you give yourself permission to celebrate in a way that honours where you are right now. May you find moments of rest, connection, and softness. And may this festive season, despite its challenges, offer you tiny reminders that you are doing the very best you can.

References

Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice., 10(2), 144-156.

Porges, S.W. (2009). The plyvagal theory: New insights into adaptive reactions of the autonomic nervous system. Cleveland Clinic Journal of Medicine, 76(Suppl. 2), S86-S90.

Siegel, D.J. (2012). The developing mind (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.